4 tips to overcome jealousy
- Learn to feel jealousy as it comes up without acting. This is the hardest one. What does jealousy feel like when it first hits? Try playing with your jealousy in a controlled environment until you know what the initial “emotional spark” feels like.
- Once the “emotional spark” is felt, define its origin. Am I envious of others achievements & advances? Do I feel someone is/has been unfaithful? Am I being protective?
- Process the emotion of jealousy by assessing the facts. Is congratulations in order? Is loyalty in the relationship present? Is the situation secure/safe?
- Be genuine. Act on the facts and not the emotion. Speak a congrats without self-interest. Assess loyalty configuration within the relationship(s). If something is off or doesn’t feel safe, proceed with caution.
It is normal to feel jealous sometimes in a possessive society. Jealousy stems from thoughts of ownership which reduce people to things or possessions. Overcoming jealousy requires constantly analyzing jealous feelings and learning the difference between fear, envy & suspicion. If feeling suspicions about others often, it may be time to redefine loyalty terms in relationships.
The human response to jealousy is very similar to fear. The feelings are very primal and the body’s first response is primal as well. By learning what the initial spark feels like, we can learn to rewire our responses.